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fuckingguy) wrote2022-07-20 07:17 am
fuckingguy) wrote2022-07-20 07:17 am
now your hope and compassion is gone
These letters can be found in the desk drawer of Nandor's room in suite 1. Each one is in its own sealed envelope, with the exception of the blank piece of paper addressed to Guillermo, which is just kind of sitting around underneath all the rest. The penmanship is fantastic and appears to have been done in fountain pen. The spelling and grammar are not as great, but we have no real canon reference point for that other than the knowledge that he spells assholes "asholes", so just do with that what you will!
ZINDA
Forgive me for abandoning you. I did not intend to. I was hoping I could flush this down the toilet on Sunday, as I have on weeks before, but sometimes these things happen. I need you to know that whoever did this, you could not have prevented it. You must also know that I did not set out on a Thursday night with intent to slaughter. Not even for John would I do such a thing, now. But the "now" is also important.
I have started to realize that we are not like Twilight. You have already known what it is like to lose everyone who was once important in a blink of an eye. Vampirism would be even more a curse to you than it is to myself. And I am not a good guy vampire who only preys on animals or "bad people", whatever that is supposed to mean. I have let you all assume that, or maybe just not bring it up to be polite, because it was less drama that way, but I have killed thousands of people. I do not feel bad about most of them. And yes, I know you still care about people like Jobu and your girls, who also (no offense) do not regret anything, but it is not the same. It is hard for even a man with an excellent command of words to get across what that means. I do not think even I really can feel the scope of it, and I am the guy who killed them. The mind protects itself from such magnitudes.
At first it just did not come up, and then I was hiding it so that nobody decided to go vampire hunting on me and Jonathan would keep his mouth shut. But now it is different. I have grown truly fond of all of you here, some more than others. And you mean too much to me for me to keep lying, even in death. This is why vampires should not spend so much time living among humans probably. It is not easy to do what we do once we get attached, which is why if you care about someone you are going to want to make them a vampire as soon as possible. After the first couple of trials, I made up my mind that I would ask you to come home with me and do me the honor of becoming my vampire bride. But the rings in the department store are ugly, and also the moment was never "right", mostly because everyone we knew was dying in gruesome ways. So, it never happened.
That was for the best. I did not get you then, really, although I loved you. I did not care enough about you to think about what you would want. But all these deaths, they also make you think shit over, even though it is the shit you do not want to be true. You will go home to your team to keep doing your important work, and live the short precious human life that was already taken from you once. All I ask is that you sometimes remember me as I really was. A bad guy, a pitiful excuse for a warrior who was too much the coward to say this shit out loud while he was still alive, who was happy here, and made you laugh, and loved you very much.
I have known a fulfillment here, these last two months, that I cannot remember feeling last. Maybe it was just acting a part which could not have lasted in the end. I do not know. Even so, I wanted to keep being that big guy, with you and the others, for as long as it would last. I think I was changing, just a little, and that also is because of you making me think it was possible. So do not weep that I am gone after the obvious period of mourning, please. You have made me too happy for my death to make you too sad.
Finally, sorry for burdening you with a task after leaving you alone, but you are the only one I trust to bring word of my passing to my housemates. This ring and my letters should prove the truth of what you are saying, but they may try and hypnotize you to forget everything anyway, so you should first come during the day. Guillermo will assist you, although he may be a petty little shit about it, and the worst Colin Robinson can do is bore you. It would mean a lot to me if you kept it afterwards.
Love,
Nandor the Relentless (alias "big guy")
FORREST
Obviously if you are reading this I have died my second death, and this has been found among my things. I must apologize to you for letting myself be caught, as this takes our suite's number down to two. As an unholy creature of the night, I do not have faith in many things. Nonetheless, I believe in your ability to solve whatever bullshit mystery surrounds my demise. You will find out the murderer, as you have the last couple of times, and avenge my slaughter by sending them to an execution, because that is what you must do to survive. You are stronger than you know, and wiser than many of us. Perhaps the task is not fair to put on your shoulders, but it is the truth, so who gives a shit?
It has taken me some time to understand why I just keep telling you a bunch of shit I would normally keep to myself, but finally I figured it out. You remind me of a certain person who meant a lot to me, but who I have maybe not always treated so good. Like you, he is a warrior (by some limited definition of the word) who people will underestimate because he is a soft little guy. Also like you, he has been there for me through many of my sadder times. The things I will not be able to tell him have begun to weigh on my mind as the weeks have gone by. There are also things I should tell you, on paper, where I will not have to say any of it out loud.
I have survived as long as I have here because I am an ancient warrior who people would rather not take their chances with, true... but also because of you. You checked on me after our first temptation, and because of that, I did not try to kill anyone. You are my friend, and I appreciate all the things you have done for me. Please try not to get killed.
Nandor the Relentless
GAIUS
Forgive my leaving you and Zinda as the only warriors of our number, but I know you will continue to do as you have done. You may have second pick of any of the weapons in my room, but please offer the choice to Zinda first.
Thank you for your professional nature and your understanding. I know you are fond of Forrest, as am I. You will look after him regardless of what I write here. I would like to also thank you for that.
Your suitemate,
Nandor the Relentless
ROSSIU
I must admit I do not have that much to say to you. We have not been close, which is not your fault, as you are a perfectly fine fellow and sensible as well. Despite your obvious physical deficiency, you will be a decent leader if such a thing becomes necessary. That is why I will entrust this to you.
I would have written this to Gaius, but honestly, if I am dead, he may have done it. A week ago, I had an encounter with the creepy couple Jonathan once described.
[ And what follows is an account of whatever the hell is going to happen in this thread! ]
It is possible they have a way to contact the dead, and not the vending machine. If they show themselves again, I would get a weapon and demand answers.
Sincerely,
Nandor the Relentless
MAFUYU
I have appreciated your being so considerate over these weeks. Take care of Zinda. Just because she does not understand you fully does not mean she is your enemy. She cares for you both very much and only wishes to protect you.
Also, sorry about that Sunday. I would apologize to Mielle as well, but it is best not to bring up the memory at all. You are made of stronger stuff than her, despite the poisoning, and are much more terrifying. Try to use that.
-Nandor the Relentless
MIELLE
Take care of Zinda. This is a request and not a demand. I sense that you are probably a little bit of an asshole, Mielle, which I can tell because I have been one myself, sometimes. You are not the only person she loves who does not deserve it. Still it is easy to take for granted that someone will always be there to help you out when you need to dress for bed or move some bodies, but then one day you will look up and see that they have up and left you for better things. I would suggest that you not let that happen, because you already do not have too many friends here, and also it would make her very sad.
Keep surviving, and practice with whatever weapon you choose with her, or with Mafuyu. It can be a very cute first date.
Sincerely,
Nandor the Relentless, supreme ruler of Al Qolnidar (former)
FLOYD
You are now the only living person here who is not human. Technically you have been for a week, but you understand my meaning. Sorry about that. It can feel very lonely to be that way, I know, and I should have spoken to you more, to see if you felt alone. But you always have put on a good face for the others, so I neglected to do so.
Realistically my second death is not going to plunge you into the depths of depression, but that is exactly why you should keep this attitude going for just a little longer. I believe you all will be able to find a way out, but not if everyone in the group is being a big fat bummer. Stay alive, please.
-Nandor the Relentless (vampire squid)
BRETT
[ What follows is an extremely detailed account of the Founding Fathers throuple situation! Unfortunately, it was a throwaway joke that they then, literally, threw away in the interest of cutting down the episode, so everyone will just have to imagine their own story. He also throws in his recollection of the Boston Tea Party. Absolutely none of this squares with how long Nandor has been in the US, by his own prior admissions, but that's a mockumentary for you! ]
I understand that you are more fragile than my kind, but we are not immune to depressive spells, which are not literal spells in case you were wondering that to yourself. I myself was in a very bad way before I arose from slumber in New Rapture. Probably would have continued to be so if you people had not talked to me and made me share my thoughts and fears. I worry that you will descend to similar depths of self-pity and hopelessness.
I have found that two things help: you must be honest about your feelings with at least one person, and you must think of what Jonathan Harker would be doing with himself in your situation, and then do the opposite of that. I have even come up with an acronym to make it easier to remember: WWJD. It is short for What Wouldn't Jonathan Do?
Sincerely,
Nandor the Relentless
PS: My hope is that the title will be amusing, your voice is good but it is not THAT good.